Cross-Cultural Relationships

“I don’t know if it’s the cultural differences or if we’re just not right for each other.”

“There are way more complications than I’d bargained for.”

“Is it normal for a mother-in-law to be THIS involved?”

“If we get married I can keep my Visa….but I don’t think I’m ready to take this step”.

What is a Cross-Cultural relationship?

The most obvious definition of a cross-cultural relationship –or intercultural relationship – is two partners who come from different cultures. But what does it mean to “come from different cultures”?

Culture can mean many different things, including:

  • Nationality

  • Language

  • Religion

  • Ethnicity

  • Social Class

  • Upbringing

CROSS-CULTURAL Challenges

When two people from different backgrounds come into a relationship, it can be a stimulating and enriching experience. There is much to learn from each other, and the relationship can be an opportunity for learning and personal growth.

However, despite the many wonderful things that come with sharing your life with someone from a different background, things can sometimes get complicated.

In my personal and professional experience of cross-cultural relationships, the problems that most often come up tend to be some version of the following:

  • Deciding where to live and make a home

  • Different ways of experiencing and expressing emotions

  • Navigating Visas, work permits, and international bureaucracy as a couple

  • Making decisions about how to raise children

  • Deciding how to honor and celebrate holidays and special events

  • Negotiating boundaries with extended family

  • Respecting each other’s interpretations of gender roles

  • Issues around racism and inclusion

intercultural couples counselling

Discussing intercultural issues with a counselor who is experienced in navigating the complex layers of cross-cultural relationships can be an important step towards ensuring you don’t get “stuck” in your differences.

In cross-cultural couples counselling we will create a safe space where we suspend judgment and explore differences with curiosity and compassion.

I can help you verbalise and explain things that you may never have had to articulate before – such as why it’s important for you to put up a Christmas tree or why you’re not ok with your in-laws’ unannounced visits.

An important part of cross-cultural counseling is identifying and working through the friction that comes up. We will work on conflict management skills to enable you to uncover and clarify your values, belief-systems and needs.

Through cross-cultural couples counselling I can also help you find greater understanding and intimacy, and guide you towards developing the ability to make joint decisions as a true partnership.

FIND OUT MORE

If you’d like to find out more about couple’s therapy, you can read my other specialty pages, check out the FAQs on couple’s therapy, or get in touch.

You can also check out my Mental, Emotional and Relational Wellbeing Workshops or follow me on Social Media to stay up-to-date on all other initiatives related to Relational Wellbeing.